When a Spouse Passes


Avoiding Mention of a Former Spouse

When a spouse dies at any time, it can be a wrenching experience for the loved one they have left behind. Many people are supportive in the beginning, and they are there as long as necessary to get the bereaved through the difficult first steps. As time wears on, avoiding mention of a former spouse can become a habit that will change the nature of their relationship. While it might be painful for the one left to talk about their loved one at first, erasing that person from all conversation can be even more difficult for them to accept.

Failure to consistently mention a former spouse who has passed can create difficulties for the person left behind, and they often feel they have no outlet for talking about their past love. They want to remember the good times they had with their spouse, but they might feel that mentioning them will throw a pall onto any social gathering they attend. People are often loathe to mention the former spouse because they are afraid of bringing back bad memories, but they need to understand that erasing that person completely can be disastrous.

When a person has gone through their heaviest grieving and is ready to talk about their former spouse, it is important to let their loved ones know it is okay to mention them. Talking to friends and family about this subject will help them realize the mourning process is proceeding, and they will be able to talk without fear of offense or hurt.

The mention of a former partner can often be a difficult subject for two people in a new relationship, but it is less likely to be an issue when the former spouse has passed away. There are fewer jealousy issues, and it is helpful to understand the type of relationship the two shared. When love blooms again, erasing the past is not necessary with the new partner.